The college football playoffs. All it took me was ten seconds for everything around me to spontaneously combust without reason. I’m just going to get it straight out of the way: the College Football Playoffs are nothing more than another corrupt system of the Bowl Championship Series (BCS)—and somehow the BCS lasted longer and it was the old form of the playoffs—and now the new playoffs are called into question again. 

Thanks to angry athletic directors, cranky Southeastern Conference (SEC) fans, and more or less a million angry people, it looks like the College Football Playoffs are likely doomed to fail again. Everyone is going to have to go back to the drawing board of simply figuring out who is the true national champion. Everyone was angry when James Madison and Tulane made the playoffs, even though a few years ago they were crying that no group of five teams could ever make the playoffs, and believed that they deserve a fair shot. They are all hypocrites. Yippee. 

Well, you could thank Virginia for losing to Duke and thank Notre Dame for sucking in the first two games of the season that allowed Miami to get in the playoffs. Honestly, Miami deserves it. They are literally one game away from winning the national championship—though they are probably going to get pounded by Indiana, but still it’s a great season for Miami. Yet, everyone is upset that Notre Dame did not get into the playoffs, even though Miami literally beat them in the first game of the season and had a tiebreaker. Of course, ESPN is upset they don’t get their nice TV ratings because Notre Dame is not in the playoffs either—even though they have not been relevant since 1996.

Somehow ESPN was not as loud as the SEC Wolves’ cries. “Texas deserves to be in the playoffs! Not little James Madison and Tulane. Texas deserved to be in. They beat an overrated Texas A&M team and also kept it close to a dying Alabama team.” Yeah, Texas, the team that lost to Florida of all teams, deserves to be in the playoffs. Great logic and reasoning with your southern education. 

And the worst part is that people actually support them. You know the SEC propagandist, Paul Finebaum. He has been spewing out southern propaganda while ignoring the fact that Arch Manning was a severe disappointment. Texas has clear flaws, and once again they lost to Florida of all teams! WHO LOSES TO FLORIDA!

The SEC lunatics don’t stop there; they are also calling Indiana cheaters for beating the snot out of Alabama, even though Alabama lost to the Florida State “Cinnamon Rolls.” Alabama  has clear flaws, and quite frankly, don’t deserve to be in the playoffs after getting blown out by Georgia in the SEC Championship, while also pretty much displaying that they are dying carcasses. It is honestly very fitting; they don’t give Indiana any credit whatsoever, and instead, just whine and complain about how much the SEC needs to be fixed. Do you realize that no one is sympathizing with you except for the cronies at ESPN?

So, SEC fans are angry that they are no longer as dominant as they used to be, and yet, nobody sheds a tear because the SEC is one of the most corrupt oligarchies in the south. Seriously, take a look at Lane Kiffin being a complete snake and running off to Louisiana State University (LSU) after the governor of Louisiana had to call the president just so they could hire a new head coach. The LSU Administration was completely gutted, so now they can put athletics over academics. Have fun trying to fund your education program at LSU in 15 years. 

I could go on and on about how much people hate this system, even with the expansion of twelve teams. Everyone is still upset about it, and honestly, this has been a long inducing saga since 1997. No one can pick a champion, no matter how hard they try. There is always controversy, anger, and the desire for money that is prioritized over the sport itself and lacks the integrity necessary to not have a corrupt system. Let us not forget about the Name, Image, Likeness program that’s making the whole thing worse. Now, student athletes or “paid employees” are getting millions of dollars worth of endorsements and advertisements at the universities, on top of student tuition. So while you guys are drowning in student loan debt, some random football player—who may or may not be good—is getting paid. I’m looking right at you, LSU.

I know my editors are going to have a field day editing this paper because I may just be rambling on for hours and not knowing what I’m talking about, but that’s exactly the point. College football has steered so far off of its original purpose that it makes the sport unwatchable to the point that nothing really matters. Even if your school does have a good player, they are just going to get bought up by the oligarchies in the SEC. These schools are just going to be buying talent, and you know the system is going to be corrupt and rigged so then your school will never get a true shot, and I am sick of it! It makes it practically impossible to follow the sport.

Tradition has become throwing money out the window, and greed is the driver seat of college football. People will cry, “wait a minute don’t you watch the NFL?” Well the NFL has what we call “regulations”—something that the NCAA could probably take a little lesson from. Get your act together college football, or there will be no one left to fund you in 2063, and the jumbotron is going to have a permanent Family Guy compilation during the game—because nobody has five brain cells anymore.